Journey to Find My Purpose

If you’ve been following my blog or occasionally read my articles, let me start by saying I’m going rogue and getting personal in this one. I’m taking off my polished, professional mask and being myself – casual, open and honest. Here we go…

Some Background

I was probably 7 years old. And I had an important question. I asked my mom, “Mom, why am I here?”. Here’s how I recall this exchange – as if it happened yesterday.

Mom: Looked puzzled and says, “What do you mean?”
Me: Saying it a bit louder and slightly annoyed that she doesn’t understand what seemed to me to be an obvious question, “Why am I here?”
Mom: “As in here on Earth?”
Me: “Yes, why am I here on Earth? What is my purpose?”
Mom: Long silence… “That’s a very grown-up question to ask…”
Me: Hmmm…I wonder if this means I’m weird that I ask grown-up questions? Or is this good?
Mom: “Someday you’ll find your answer…”

This is where my journey starts. My journey to find my purpose. I didn’t know what to do with the response to my important question my mom gave me at 7 years old. So, I stored it as unresolved info somewhere in my heart. Along this journey, more subtle, notable occurrences happened that I continue to store in my heart. I’m not quite sure what else to do with them at this point, but they feel relevant to my purpose.

Then. THEN. Our twin daughters arrive causing my husband’s and my world to turn upside down – especially mine. Not only was I trying to figure what the heck to do with 2 screaming babies – I began to have these deep-rooted questions surface from somewhere within:

  • “Why did our daughters come as a unit?”
  • “Why did they choose us as their parents?”
  • “Why does Simone have a birth mark on her leg? Where did that come from?”
  • “Why am I the only one that can soothe Sydnee when she has a raging screaming attack?”
  • “Why do I sometimes react to my daughters in a way that I said I never would as a parent?“
  • “Why, at times, can I not stand my husband – no matter how great he is or how much he does for me and our girls?”

Oh yes. The list went on and on and on. And – no doubt – hormones were storming and clashing during this time. I wanted answers. Once again, I wanted answers to my important questions. But this time, I wasn’t letting these go unresolved.

A Leap

Through my contacts and trying several resources, I ended up in the office of a Psychotherapist/Depth Hypnosis Practitioner. For those that are unfamiliar, Depth Hypnosis was founded and developed by Isa Gucciardi, PhD. You can learn more about the methodology here.

At this point, I was willing to try just about anything to get answers and I trusted this person to guide me along the way. We talked through my questions and the feelings I was experiencing and it was helpful, but I felt like I was only touching the surface of my questions.

Then, she asked if I wanted to do a guided meditation and dig deeper into these questions/themes. Ummm… ok! Oh my. I mean… holy moly! The very first Depth Hypnosis session opened a flood gate of emotions and provided a truckload of information that gave me rich insights into these deep-rooted questions. It took me months to process and absorb the info and allow the healing. I wasn’t sure if this meditation thing was witchcraft, magic or scientific but I wanted more!

I had several more Depth Hypnosis sessions and met more skilled and certified experts who provided greater meaning and more healings to the repository of unresolved questions and pieces of info stored in my heart. I started to feel alive and hungry to learn more! I asked my tribe of healers where they learned these healing methodologies, and all arrows pointed the same direction. They encouraged me to consider learning them myself so I could continue my own healing.

Hmmm… interesting.

Moving Forward

For 10 years, I attended a variety of workshops from “Working with Dreams”, to the “Shamanic Journey”, to “Mindful Leadership”, to “Energy Medicine”, to “Space Clearing”, while also dabbling with Tarot cards, Astrological charts and so much more. Over a year ago, my guides and spiritual teachers kept bringing me back to my purpose.

I listened. I absorbed. I processed.

I moved forward and made the decision to complete the work to become a Certified Depth Hypnosis Practitioner and Shamanic Practitioner. This is a step towards bringing me in alignment with my purpose.

I’m one year into this journey and overwhelmed by the beautiful insights and learnings, along with the intense healings within myself. I’m neck-deep in this quest and feel more alive than ever! I’m open and willing to look closer at myself and be more aware of my intentions, thoughts, words and actions and how they affect others. I’m learning to be compassionate and less empathic. I’m learning to get out of the way of myself to be more helpful to others. I’m learning how to be of service to others in a new, purposeful way.

I’m also learning to enjoy this experience and not be attached to the outcome. In other words, I’m unsure how this path will cross – if at all – with my “day job” working with my corporate clients to lead their initiatives and providing leadership and management. This approach of not having a clear destination, nor knowing how this will integrate into the way I serve people today, is new for me and exactly what I need. I’m eager and excited and – not going to lie – a bit timid to share this journey with you by shining light onto some of my experiences. For now, I leave you with warm light.

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A passionate organizer of people and initiatives, Erica Smigielski brings over twenty years of experience in project leadership to financial software and SaaS companies who want to launch their next big idea. She leads large-scale, complex projects like product launches and company mergers and acquisitions as well as focused efforts to bring structure and process to fast-track businesses. Erica holds certifications as a Stanford Advanced Project Manager as well as a Certified Group Facilitator, making her a master orchestrator of strategic planning, as well as a skillful communicator who can expertly navigate complex group dynamics.